I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
