It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
