party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
