that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
