I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
me + whiskey = a bad person
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
