Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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