I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
