I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
