Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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