wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
