I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
