Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
