in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
