planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
