Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
