He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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