My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
