I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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