He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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