their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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