dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
