I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
