Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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