New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is wine microwaveable?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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