you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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