id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
