sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
