If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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