You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
