She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
