NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
