Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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