there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
