so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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