you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
