my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm passing your future prison.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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