id be glad to
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
