I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
