Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
