escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
