remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
