She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
