There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
