I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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