i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
