oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
another moral hangover. fuck.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
