Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
