Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
