i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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