At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
