just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
