i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
