no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
