Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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